Dear Bex,
It has been over six months since I last wrote to you - I am so sorry at that excessively long amount of time, but in my defense - A LOT has gone on!
You are a big sister. On September 12, 2014, we met Lila Jane, and immediately our family dynamic shifted. You were suddenly - bigger. Older. More responsible. As I've said a ton of times since she was born, her birth heightened every aspect of your personality - as mature and smart as you were, you are even more so now. As silly and loud as you were, you are sillier and louder now. As steadfast in your opinions, beliefs, desires and actions as you were, you even more... willfull... or stubborn... or steadfast now. It hasn't always been easy between the two of us, or between you and The Daddy. But you know what has? Your relationship with Lila. You ADORE her, and have from the moment that you first met her. You walked into the hospital room where I was, and we had her in her bassinet on the side of the room. You asked for her, and immediately commented on how cute she is. You loved her instantly. (The Princess Anna and Queen Elsa dresses she brought you helped a little, I'm sure...)
You smother Lila with kisses and constantly want to know where she is and check on her. You help me give her baths and wash her hair and feet for me. You laugh at her, you are starting to make her laugh at you, and you love when we play all together. The first time I had her lay in your bed with you you were ECSTATIC, and we laughed and stayed in there for a while - it is one of my favorite memories so far. You have tons of nicknames for her, but the one that has stuck the most is Meepers. I love it. You always ask for "that little cutie" or "Meepers" or "Beepers" or "Lila cutie" and love making her say things in the voice that you have invented for her.
Sure, there have been some times that you weren't her biggest fan - she was a NOISY newborn, and that grated on all of us a bit. You told The Daddy that they could hear her on Mars, Venus and Saturn one night. And there have been a couple of instances when you ask us to put her down so we can play with you, or you inquire about if babies can go back into bellies... but for the most part, you have wholeheartedly accepted her and known that she is ours - that she completes our family,
She is four months old today - and in honor of that milestone, I am introducing Hi My Lila - first entry coming soon :)
More about the past six months of your life - your new big girl bed, your new school, your upcoming fourth birthday (!) soon...
I love you, baby girl - and now my big girl!
Love always,
Mommy
January 12, 2015
July 2, 2014
Life in our House
Dear Bex,
Life has been pretty hectic for the past couple of months - we are finally out of the haze of it and mostly back to normal. Dina hurt her foot at the very end of April, and ended up needing six weeks off for it to heal enough for her to come back and take care of you, my rambunctious, active, chica loca! We scrambled for coverage while she was out, with myself, The Daddy and all four grandparents pitching in, not to mention help from Dina's niece and a temporary nanny named Fely who you grew to love too. It was craziness, and while for the most part you were awesome, you are certainly a happier girl with Dina back in your life.
In the time since that happened you have had croup twice and a raging double ear infection. You have refused to take medicine, spitting it back in our faces, and had more than a few sleepless nights that I promise would have gone better if you had listened to us - but that would be too easy!
You have, though, in these couple of months, become enamored with my belly and all things about the baby. You call yourself a big sister already, ask about the baby all the time (is she or he moving? are they kicking? are they laughing? are they growing? when will the baby be here?) and kiss and rub my belly. You love to tickle it and say "Hi fuzzy fuzzy! You're so cute!" to the baby, which just makes me smile each time. We got you a big sister book that you love, and you have started pushing around your dolls in their strollers a lot more - not to mention acting like a baby a lot more too. This morning you asked for some baby food in jars from Kings - we may be taking this a bit far! :)
This past weekend we had our 2014 Climb out of the Darkness. In preparation for it, I have become super active with Postpartum Progress, the non-profit who organizes the walk, and that has been so great. I got to meet some of the other women involved, including founder Katherine Stone, because we went to a taping of The Today Show to see David Gray - his new song, Back in the World, is the theme of this year's walk, as you can see in the video below (which the baby and I are in, just after 1:30!).
Last year's walk was amazing, and this year's was just as incredible - we had 25 people come - family, friends and coworkers (and a photographer from NJ.com!) - and raised more than $5,000 which boggles my mind. The support from people near to me and far, from people I speak to daily to people I haven't spoken to in over a decade, boggles my mind - and lets me know that this is a cause worth talking about.
So yes - things have been nuts. Planning for the Climb, making sure you were well taken care of, your graduation from KVU and start of Camp Kidville and so much more has been a whirlwind! Despite some extreme feistiness from you, which we've been trying to curb albeit somewhat unsuccessfully, you have been amazing through everything. You make us laugh all the time - especially with your new brand of more mature (or immature) potty humor. You are somewhat obsessed with playgrounds, and fearless when you get to go to them. You absorb facts and the world around you at an unbelievable pace, remember things from MONTHS ago that you recall with perfect clarity, and even started writing all of your letters without anyone teaching you how to do so! You addressed these Father's Day cards by yourself (OK, I made the G in Grumpa.)!
Already this summer, you have been swimming a few times, conquering your fear of putting your face and head in the water. You have been fishing, thanks to Nicole and John's pond at their new house, and we have gone to your first baseball game (that you shocked us and loved) on Father's Day, took a trip to Margate, NJ, to visit Leslie, Sydney, Hayden and baby Dean and seen Daddy in a race or two. You are a blast to hang out with, and it is so much FUN right now to be your mom.
I get the feeling these next few months will be more of the same insanity, and then... who knows once this baby gets here!! Third trimester - the countdown is ON!!
I love you, baby girl.
Love always,
Mommy
Life has been pretty hectic for the past couple of months - we are finally out of the haze of it and mostly back to normal. Dina hurt her foot at the very end of April, and ended up needing six weeks off for it to heal enough for her to come back and take care of you, my rambunctious, active, chica loca! We scrambled for coverage while she was out, with myself, The Daddy and all four grandparents pitching in, not to mention help from Dina's niece and a temporary nanny named Fely who you grew to love too. It was craziness, and while for the most part you were awesome, you are certainly a happier girl with Dina back in your life.
In the time since that happened you have had croup twice and a raging double ear infection. You have refused to take medicine, spitting it back in our faces, and had more than a few sleepless nights that I promise would have gone better if you had listened to us - but that would be too easy!
You have, though, in these couple of months, become enamored with my belly and all things about the baby. You call yourself a big sister already, ask about the baby all the time (is she or he moving? are they kicking? are they laughing? are they growing? when will the baby be here?) and kiss and rub my belly. You love to tickle it and say "Hi fuzzy fuzzy! You're so cute!" to the baby, which just makes me smile each time. We got you a big sister book that you love, and you have started pushing around your dolls in their strollers a lot more - not to mention acting like a baby a lot more too. This morning you asked for some baby food in jars from Kings - we may be taking this a bit far! :)
This past weekend we had our 2014 Climb out of the Darkness. In preparation for it, I have become super active with Postpartum Progress, the non-profit who organizes the walk, and that has been so great. I got to meet some of the other women involved, including founder Katherine Stone, because we went to a taping of The Today Show to see David Gray - his new song, Back in the World, is the theme of this year's walk, as you can see in the video below (which the baby and I are in, just after 1:30!).
 |
| That's me! |
Last year's walk was amazing, and this year's was just as incredible - we had 25 people come - family, friends and coworkers (and a photographer from NJ.com!) - and raised more than $5,000 which boggles my mind. The support from people near to me and far, from people I speak to daily to people I haven't spoken to in over a decade, boggles my mind - and lets me know that this is a cause worth talking about.
 |
| The Daddy taking over reading a letter from Postpartum Progress founder Katherine Stone because I was too emotional. I could blame the pregnancy, but that's not entirely true. |
 |
| TEAM HOBOKEN! |
 |
| You really didn't want to be in our family picture. |
Already this summer, you have been swimming a few times, conquering your fear of putting your face and head in the water. You have been fishing, thanks to Nicole and John's pond at their new house, and we have gone to your first baseball game (that you shocked us and loved) on Father's Day, took a trip to Margate, NJ, to visit Leslie, Sydney, Hayden and baby Dean and seen Daddy in a race or two. You are a blast to hang out with, and it is so much FUN right now to be your mom.
I get the feeling these next few months will be more of the same insanity, and then... who knows once this baby gets here!! Third trimester - the countdown is ON!!
I love you, baby girl.
Love always,
Mommy
April 14, 2014
The News!
Dear Bex,
The Daddy and I have been talking about giving you a brother or sister for a little while now. We went back and forth - you are SO much fun, and SO awesome and funny and we are SOOOO lucky - what if another baby isn't that same way? And I had a pretty hard time in the beginning after having you - were we ready to go through that all again?
In the end, we decided that we did want to press our luck for another baby - to hopefully have another as incredible as you are, and a sibling and best friend for you to have for life.
And in January, just after you turned 3, we learned that we would in fact be having a baby, in October. We were sort of speechless - yes this is what we wanted, but the minute you find out it's really going to happen? Nothing prepares you for that.
We waited to make sure everything was going well, and then we got the fun of telling you.
Just after this (which cuts out annoyingly early due to low phone memory), you asked why we paused the TV. It was priceless, and exactly how The Daddy said it would go. Since then, you have really warmed up to the idea of being a big sister. You love telling people that we're "getting a baby!", and tell me all the time that it's a girl that you'd like to name either A) Rebecca, B) Dina, C) Elsa or D) Jasmine. Oh, and if it's a boy, which you adamantly tell us IT IS NOT, you will name him Poopy. Or Abu.
I am just about four months pregnant now, which means we have 5-6 months left - quite a bit of time. My bump is totally showing (gotta love second pregnancies), and you have started patting it, asking to see it and just last week, talking to it. You said, "Hi there baby... hi little girl... Have a good dinner!" And this morning, you patted my belly and said "Hi in there... feel good!" which melted my heart. It is moments like these, and me imagining you taking care of whoever is coming to join our family, that turn me into a bowl full of mush (and tears). I am sure it will not all be as sweet as this, and there will be major adjustments for all four (!) of us, but I am beyond excited for every second.
I love you so much, baby girl.
Love always,
Mommy
The Daddy and I have been talking about giving you a brother or sister for a little while now. We went back and forth - you are SO much fun, and SO awesome and funny and we are SOOOO lucky - what if another baby isn't that same way? And I had a pretty hard time in the beginning after having you - were we ready to go through that all again?
In the end, we decided that we did want to press our luck for another baby - to hopefully have another as incredible as you are, and a sibling and best friend for you to have for life.
And in January, just after you turned 3, we learned that we would in fact be having a baby, in October. We were sort of speechless - yes this is what we wanted, but the minute you find out it's really going to happen? Nothing prepares you for that.
We waited to make sure everything was going well, and then we got the fun of telling you.
Just after this (which cuts out annoyingly early due to low phone memory), you asked why we paused the TV. It was priceless, and exactly how The Daddy said it would go. Since then, you have really warmed up to the idea of being a big sister. You love telling people that we're "getting a baby!", and tell me all the time that it's a girl that you'd like to name either A) Rebecca, B) Dina, C) Elsa or D) Jasmine. Oh, and if it's a boy, which you adamantly tell us IT IS NOT, you will name him Poopy. Or Abu.
I am just about four months pregnant now, which means we have 5-6 months left - quite a bit of time. My bump is totally showing (gotta love second pregnancies), and you have started patting it, asking to see it and just last week, talking to it. You said, "Hi there baby... hi little girl... Have a good dinner!" And this morning, you patted my belly and said "Hi in there... feel good!" which melted my heart. It is moments like these, and me imagining you taking care of whoever is coming to join our family, that turn me into a bowl full of mush (and tears). I am sure it will not all be as sweet as this, and there will be major adjustments for all four (!) of us, but I am beyond excited for every second.
I love you so much, baby girl.
Love always,
Mommy
March 27, 2014
Bex in Specs
Dear Bex,
The day before you turned 3, we went to Toys R'Us to spend some of the money you have accumulated in gift cards since you were born. It was your first spree, and I got to say,"We can pick a few things out to take home! This is a special day!" We had a blast running around the store, looking at everything and visiting all your 'friends,' which is what you call every cartoon character you can recognize. You played in the mini cars in the back, hopping in and out of various models for half an hour, and we chose some toys to bring home with us.
Just as we were about to hit the registers, you looked up at me to answer a question I had asked you, and I noticed your right eye turn in just slightly, but enough to take me aback. I felt my heart drop, asked you to look at me again but couldn't make it happen again. For the rest of the afternoon, I kept staring at your eyes trying to spot the problem again, and a few times, I did.
I was scared - what did the turning in mean? What was it a signal of? Was I imagining it? How long had I not noticed this for? I Googled, terrified myself, and asked The Daddy if he had noticed it - he said I was crazy, so I thought I was. I kept seeing it though, and every time it made me shudder - I just knew I wasn't crazy, and asked Dina if she'd seen anything, but she hadn't either. Still, I researched online and wondered what it could be.
Then, a week later, both The Daddy and Dina saw it too. We went for your three-year check-up, and the doctor told me that if I suspected something, we should take you to the eye doctor to have it checked out - we were at the Englewood Eye Center a week later, and in that week we all kept seeing it happen more and more. Even Grandma noticed it during a sleepover you had at her house.
The eye doctor did her examination, and immediately diagnosed you as farsighted. Your vision was +3.75, which is fairly severe - you would need to wear glasses, starting as soon as possible, all the time, until you were probably 10-11 years old.
I would be lying if I said the news didn't shock me and make me upset. In the grand scheme of things, are glasses a big deal? No. Could there be MUCH worse diagnoses and remedies? Of course. But I was still just shocked that the small thing I had noticed a few weeks earlier during a fun Toys R'Us outing had turned out to be a signal of something really wrong.
We chose frames, and you actually had a blast during that part, trying on different glasses, calling yourself Dr. Bex and generally cracking everyone up. We picked out an adorable purple pair and came back to get them a week or so later, after having talked up how cool glasses would be that whole time. You cried when it was time to put them on, but I let you work through that and a few minutes later you slipped them on. "Whoah, things look different. The sun is moving!" were your exact words, but since then, Bex, you've really never taken them off. They help you see so much better that you love and know you need your glasses.
You have changed since having them, too - you concentrate on tasks for longer than you used to, and you are less clumsy, both of which were signs that you had been having trouble seeing things close up for a while. We bought you a cute little stuffed princess with a pouch on the back that holds your glasses at night, and you pop up each morning and run to get them. You have done better with this adjustment - which is quite a major one - than I ever could have imagined. I am so impressed, and proud of you.
I love you, Bex in Specs!
Love,
Mommy
The day before you turned 3, we went to Toys R'Us to spend some of the money you have accumulated in gift cards since you were born. It was your first spree, and I got to say,"We can pick a few things out to take home! This is a special day!" We had a blast running around the store, looking at everything and visiting all your 'friends,' which is what you call every cartoon character you can recognize. You played in the mini cars in the back, hopping in and out of various models for half an hour, and we chose some toys to bring home with us.
Just as we were about to hit the registers, you looked up at me to answer a question I had asked you, and I noticed your right eye turn in just slightly, but enough to take me aback. I felt my heart drop, asked you to look at me again but couldn't make it happen again. For the rest of the afternoon, I kept staring at your eyes trying to spot the problem again, and a few times, I did.
I was scared - what did the turning in mean? What was it a signal of? Was I imagining it? How long had I not noticed this for? I Googled, terrified myself, and asked The Daddy if he had noticed it - he said I was crazy, so I thought I was. I kept seeing it though, and every time it made me shudder - I just knew I wasn't crazy, and asked Dina if she'd seen anything, but she hadn't either. Still, I researched online and wondered what it could be.
Then, a week later, both The Daddy and Dina saw it too. We went for your three-year check-up, and the doctor told me that if I suspected something, we should take you to the eye doctor to have it checked out - we were at the Englewood Eye Center a week later, and in that week we all kept seeing it happen more and more. Even Grandma noticed it during a sleepover you had at her house.
The eye doctor did her examination, and immediately diagnosed you as farsighted. Your vision was +3.75, which is fairly severe - you would need to wear glasses, starting as soon as possible, all the time, until you were probably 10-11 years old.
 |
| Lunch at the diner after your appointment, with dilated pupils. |
We chose frames, and you actually had a blast during that part, trying on different glasses, calling yourself Dr. Bex and generally cracking everyone up. We picked out an adorable purple pair and came back to get them a week or so later, after having talked up how cool glasses would be that whole time. You cried when it was time to put them on, but I let you work through that and a few minutes later you slipped them on. "Whoah, things look different. The sun is moving!" were your exact words, but since then, Bex, you've really never taken them off. They help you see so much better that you love and know you need your glasses.
You have changed since having them, too - you concentrate on tasks for longer than you used to, and you are less clumsy, both of which were signs that you had been having trouble seeing things close up for a while. We bought you a cute little stuffed princess with a pouch on the back that holds your glasses at night, and you pop up each morning and run to get them. You have done better with this adjustment - which is quite a major one - than I ever could have imagined. I am so impressed, and proud of you.
I love you, Bex in Specs!
Love,
Mommy
March 25, 2014
School?! ALREADY?
Dear Bex,
Somehow, you are three. Somehow, it is time to start thinking about preschool beyond the amazing Kidville University two-hour dropoff program we've done this year. Somehow, we must make a real, adult decision about where you will spend the next year or two prior to Kindergarten.
In trying to decide between a private option or the free public preschool option in Hoboken, we've had the opportunity to do a lot of research, have a ton of conversations about what will work best for us, for you and (really, most importantly) for Dina and finally, to go on open houses / meetings / interviews.
Oh, the interview.
Our "backup option" should we not get a place in the public preschool program that Hoboken offers, which is quite possible due to overcrowding in Hoboken, was Hoboken Montessori. It's expensive, yes, but it's also RIGHT across the street. I've learned a lot about the Montessori method at work recently, and really believe in its philosophies and techniques, so went for an open house. I thought it was great and that it could be a good option for you - and then we brought you in for your interview.
My baby girl, it was the proudest I've been of you in your entire life yet. You were unabashedly yourself - pretending to be characters, expressing yourself willfully and not letting anyone tell you what to do. I don't think this is the type of child they were looking for - but it is the one I am in love with and am so proud to have!!
It began when the preschool director walked by prior to your interview and you said a charming hello - she asked your name, and you identified yourself as "Amanda." I laughed and let her know that wasn't your name but my niece's, and asked you to tell her your real name. "Ryan Baker." was your next response. Again, I laughed and shook my head, glancing over at The Daddy who was also already laughing. This was going to be interesting, we could tell...
They invited you into the room, and we accompanied you because you didn't want to go in alone. I should mention that this was after we had to wake you from your afternoon nap, so you weren't the happiest girl - but I digress. We entered the room and you looked around at all the toys - the teacher asked if you wanted to do one activity, and you responded with a definite and defiant "NO." You wandered around a bit and declined other activities, then found the easel, where you colored for a minute or two before moving onto another activity. You walked over the the tower of block cubes, and swiftly knocked them down with one swipe. The teacher attempted to show you how to carefully pick them up and restack them, and you did so for a moment. You missed one larger block when restacking, and she asked what you thought would happen when you tried to balance it on top of the other, smaller blocks. I swear, Bex, you stared her right in the eye, put that larger block squarely on top of the smaller ones and it balanced perfectly, and then you swiped and knocked them down again. The Daddy and I were stifling laughter at this point, staring at you going through this classroom like a bull in a china shop. You made messes that you refused to clean up, did some activities and abandoned them moments later, and generally were... you.
Once the teacher said, "I think I've seen enough," she asked if you had a nice time - you looked back at her, said a final, "NO." and left the room. The Daddy and I profusely thanked them, continued to giggle, and followed you - our brilliant, vivacious, imaginative girl - outside.
You got rejected a month later.
I love you and all that you are, just the way you are, baby girl!
Love always,
Mommy
Somehow, you are three. Somehow, it is time to start thinking about preschool beyond the amazing Kidville University two-hour dropoff program we've done this year. Somehow, we must make a real, adult decision about where you will spend the next year or two prior to Kindergarten.
In trying to decide between a private option or the free public preschool option in Hoboken, we've had the opportunity to do a lot of research, have a ton of conversations about what will work best for us, for you and (really, most importantly) for Dina and finally, to go on open houses / meetings / interviews.
Oh, the interview.
Our "backup option" should we not get a place in the public preschool program that Hoboken offers, which is quite possible due to overcrowding in Hoboken, was Hoboken Montessori. It's expensive, yes, but it's also RIGHT across the street. I've learned a lot about the Montessori method at work recently, and really believe in its philosophies and techniques, so went for an open house. I thought it was great and that it could be a good option for you - and then we brought you in for your interview.
My baby girl, it was the proudest I've been of you in your entire life yet. You were unabashedly yourself - pretending to be characters, expressing yourself willfully and not letting anyone tell you what to do. I don't think this is the type of child they were looking for - but it is the one I am in love with and am so proud to have!!
It began when the preschool director walked by prior to your interview and you said a charming hello - she asked your name, and you identified yourself as "Amanda." I laughed and let her know that wasn't your name but my niece's, and asked you to tell her your real name. "Ryan Baker." was your next response. Again, I laughed and shook my head, glancing over at The Daddy who was also already laughing. This was going to be interesting, we could tell...
They invited you into the room, and we accompanied you because you didn't want to go in alone. I should mention that this was after we had to wake you from your afternoon nap, so you weren't the happiest girl - but I digress. We entered the room and you looked around at all the toys - the teacher asked if you wanted to do one activity, and you responded with a definite and defiant "NO." You wandered around a bit and declined other activities, then found the easel, where you colored for a minute or two before moving onto another activity. You walked over the the tower of block cubes, and swiftly knocked them down with one swipe. The teacher attempted to show you how to carefully pick them up and restack them, and you did so for a moment. You missed one larger block when restacking, and she asked what you thought would happen when you tried to balance it on top of the other, smaller blocks. I swear, Bex, you stared her right in the eye, put that larger block squarely on top of the smaller ones and it balanced perfectly, and then you swiped and knocked them down again. The Daddy and I were stifling laughter at this point, staring at you going through this classroom like a bull in a china shop. You made messes that you refused to clean up, did some activities and abandoned them moments later, and generally were... you.
Once the teacher said, "I think I've seen enough," she asked if you had a nice time - you looked back at her, said a final, "NO." and left the room. The Daddy and I profusely thanked them, continued to giggle, and followed you - our brilliant, vivacious, imaginative girl - outside.
You got rejected a month later.
Shortly after this interview, The Daddy and I went to the Open House for the public preschool option that Hoboken offers. The classrooms were filled with toys, colors, pictures and projects that the children had done. They exuded warmth, playfulness and excitement, and I could immediately imagine you walking the halls and seamlessly fitting in. We applied a few weeks later - fingers crossed we get a spot!!
Admissions admissions@hobokenmontessori.com
After a thorough review of your child’s application and our existing enrollment, our administrative team has determined that we are unable to offer you a contract for the 2014-2015 school year at Hoboken Montessori School.It is never easy to make these difficult admissions decisions; I wish we could accommodate all the wonderful families we meet through the admission process. We are certain Rebecca will flourish at another of the fine schools in the area.
We thank you for your interest in Hoboken Montessori School and wish you all the best in the future.Sincerely,Denise RosenthalDirector
I love you and all that you are, just the way you are, baby girl!
Love always,
Mommy
January 20, 2014
The Night Before You Turn 3
Dear Bex,
My loveygirl, you are turning three tomorrow. I just put you to bed for the last time as a two-year-old and tried to explain what birthdays were - the day each year that your mommy had you, that you were born. I don't think you understood, though you may have since you really understand, remember and ponder just about everything these days. The Whys have started, and I never really know enough to satisfy them, though I try my best. The memories that you pull out of thin air boggle my mind, and I often have to think hard but can decipher even the most random references you make. We met someone named Jessie, and you remembered that Erica Lakind's teddy bear has the same name, something you learned months earlier when we visited their new apartment for half an hour. Seriously.
We have really become best friends recently, and that brings along the good with the bad. Your best friend is the person that makes you laugh the hardest and most often, and who brings out the best in you, but can also push your buttons like no other since they know you so well. Yep, that's us! We have the most fun together, you and I and The Daddy, and we laugh, sing, dance and play most of the time these days. Candy Land, Zoominoes, puzzles, books, TV shows, songs and movies fill our days. You remember lines, sayings, quotes and songs and repeat them constantly, and you assign all of the people in your life roles from each of these - sometimes the three of us are Nemo, Dory and Marlin, sometimes we are members of the Paw Patrol or characters from Aladdin or a random show you fell in love with called Tree Fu Tom. We willingly act these out and call you by your chosen name, since if we don't you say, "I'm not Rebecca, I'm _______." (Nemo, Ryder, Abu, Tom...). Then, on a dime and for no reason at all, you become frustrated, angry or sad and have a bit of a meltdown. Sometimes you yell at us or purposely do something that you know you're not supposed to, and while we are working through this with you it in turn makes us frustrated, angry or sad! We try not to have our own meltdowns and to stay calm, but admittedly don't always succeed - welcome to the 3s is what we've been told by friends who have been down this road before!
You have also developed a quirk where you want to be like whoever we are near, even if we aren't necessarily playing with them. This means if Amanda has her hat and gloves on, you better have a hat and gloves too! And if we are in the playroom and someone has a dress on, we may have to come back upstairs to put on a dress too and avoid the aforementioned tantrums (something Mommy is much more apt to do than The Daddy, for sure)! It really gets quite intricate, I must admit, but I'm usually willing to play along.
All in all though, you are still the most awesome kid around. A month ago we went on vacation together to Puerto Rico with Lulu, Amanda and Ryan. The daddies stayed home to work and it was a long six days without them. I was so nervous to be without The Daddy - he is such an integral part of us, and helps me SO much with you that I wasn't sure how we'd do without him, especially in a strange place with a strange crib and strange food and two (2!) four-hour plane flights. But there was no reason to be scared - as you have always done in the past, you proved to me over and over that you are a cool, fun, roll-with-the-punches girl. You were amazing on the plane, both times, including during the delay in the airport on the way home. You slept like a champ for five nights in a pretty small pack and play. You had a great time swimming in the pool and playing with your cousins, and were so sad when it was time to come home, until you realized that meant seeing The Daddy. It was all you talked about the whole last two days I think! Admittedly it was all I thought about too.
We had your birthday party yesterday, and you had so much fun - we did it at Kidville since you are so comfortable there and it was great. Tattoos, play-doh, art projects and blocks to start off, some time running and playing in the gym and then chicken fingers, pizza, fruit and cake to finish up. We didn't sing Happy Birthday at your request, and even still you cried after from what I think is a bit of anxiety towards either the attention, noise or combination of the two. You quickly got better once you got to lick the frosting off of your candles! You got so many fun little presents and it was really the perfect way to celebrate with 20 of your friends and all four grandparents.
I can not believe that three years ago today, The Daddy and I drove through the Lincoln Tunnel to check into the hospital, a trip of which I still remember every second. I was so nervous to meet you, to find out who had been kicking me and hiccuping in there for the past nine months, and to see who you would become. I could not have imagined someone that brings so much to my life. Someone who makes me laugh out loud constantly with the hilarious, amazing, grown up and wise beyond her years words she says, tear up with pride by doing the most mundane task, and full-on ugly cry when I think of the years that have some how already passed and how quickly you are growing up. I can not wait to see what else you've got in store for us, Babylove... my newest and bestest friend.
XOXOXOXOXOOXOXO to my still-two-year-old-daughter for at least tonight!
Love always,
Mommy
My loveygirl, you are turning three tomorrow. I just put you to bed for the last time as a two-year-old and tried to explain what birthdays were - the day each year that your mommy had you, that you were born. I don't think you understood, though you may have since you really understand, remember and ponder just about everything these days. The Whys have started, and I never really know enough to satisfy them, though I try my best. The memories that you pull out of thin air boggle my mind, and I often have to think hard but can decipher even the most random references you make. We met someone named Jessie, and you remembered that Erica Lakind's teddy bear has the same name, something you learned months earlier when we visited their new apartment for half an hour. Seriously.
We have really become best friends recently, and that brings along the good with the bad. Your best friend is the person that makes you laugh the hardest and most often, and who brings out the best in you, but can also push your buttons like no other since they know you so well. Yep, that's us! We have the most fun together, you and I and The Daddy, and we laugh, sing, dance and play most of the time these days. Candy Land, Zoominoes, puzzles, books, TV shows, songs and movies fill our days. You remember lines, sayings, quotes and songs and repeat them constantly, and you assign all of the people in your life roles from each of these - sometimes the three of us are Nemo, Dory and Marlin, sometimes we are members of the Paw Patrol or characters from Aladdin or a random show you fell in love with called Tree Fu Tom. We willingly act these out and call you by your chosen name, since if we don't you say, "I'm not Rebecca, I'm _______." (Nemo, Ryder, Abu, Tom...). Then, on a dime and for no reason at all, you become frustrated, angry or sad and have a bit of a meltdown. Sometimes you yell at us or purposely do something that you know you're not supposed to, and while we are working through this with you it in turn makes us frustrated, angry or sad! We try not to have our own meltdowns and to stay calm, but admittedly don't always succeed - welcome to the 3s is what we've been told by friends who have been down this road before!
You have also developed a quirk where you want to be like whoever we are near, even if we aren't necessarily playing with them. This means if Amanda has her hat and gloves on, you better have a hat and gloves too! And if we are in the playroom and someone has a dress on, we may have to come back upstairs to put on a dress too and avoid the aforementioned tantrums (something Mommy is much more apt to do than The Daddy, for sure)! It really gets quite intricate, I must admit, but I'm usually willing to play along.
All in all though, you are still the most awesome kid around. A month ago we went on vacation together to Puerto Rico with Lulu, Amanda and Ryan. The daddies stayed home to work and it was a long six days without them. I was so nervous to be without The Daddy - he is such an integral part of us, and helps me SO much with you that I wasn't sure how we'd do without him, especially in a strange place with a strange crib and strange food and two (2!) four-hour plane flights. But there was no reason to be scared - as you have always done in the past, you proved to me over and over that you are a cool, fun, roll-with-the-punches girl. You were amazing on the plane, both times, including during the delay in the airport on the way home. You slept like a champ for five nights in a pretty small pack and play. You had a great time swimming in the pool and playing with your cousins, and were so sad when it was time to come home, until you realized that meant seeing The Daddy. It was all you talked about the whole last two days I think! Admittedly it was all I thought about too.
We had your birthday party yesterday, and you had so much fun - we did it at Kidville since you are so comfortable there and it was great. Tattoos, play-doh, art projects and blocks to start off, some time running and playing in the gym and then chicken fingers, pizza, fruit and cake to finish up. We didn't sing Happy Birthday at your request, and even still you cried after from what I think is a bit of anxiety towards either the attention, noise or combination of the two. You quickly got better once you got to lick the frosting off of your candles! You got so many fun little presents and it was really the perfect way to celebrate with 20 of your friends and all four grandparents.
I can not believe that three years ago today, The Daddy and I drove through the Lincoln Tunnel to check into the hospital, a trip of which I still remember every second. I was so nervous to meet you, to find out who had been kicking me and hiccuping in there for the past nine months, and to see who you would become. I could not have imagined someone that brings so much to my life. Someone who makes me laugh out loud constantly with the hilarious, amazing, grown up and wise beyond her years words she says, tear up with pride by doing the most mundane task, and full-on ugly cry when I think of the years that have some how already passed and how quickly you are growing up. I can not wait to see what else you've got in store for us, Babylove... my newest and bestest friend.
XOXOXOXOXOOXOXO to my still-two-year-old-daughter for at least tonight!
Love always,
Mommy
October 4, 2013
"Reading"
Dear Bex,
You have always had a penchant for books and reading, and recognized books by their covers... you've always memorized them quite quickly, and I frequently won't read the last word on a page and wait for you to fill it in (which you usually do perfectly). You've recently taken this to another level, reading books to yourself and having a blast doing it. Sometimes the pages are paraphrased based on the pictures, but mostly, you get them 100% right...
And crack me up in the process :)
I love you, baby girl.
Love always,
Mommy
You have always had a penchant for books and reading, and recognized books by their covers... you've always memorized them quite quickly, and I frequently won't read the last word on a page and wait for you to fill it in (which you usually do perfectly). You've recently taken this to another level, reading books to yourself and having a blast doing it. Sometimes the pages are paraphrased based on the pictures, but mostly, you get them 100% right...
And crack me up in the process :)
I love you, baby girl.
Love always,
Mommy
September 25, 2013
Fun with Bex
Dear Bex,
I told you that you've been so much fun lately with us - but had no idea how much fun you've been with Dina too! She has recently been texting me tons of pictures during the day of the fun you have together - at classes, on playdates, walking around, at the playground - and she is as proud (if not prouder) as I am at how well you're doing at school. The teachers say you follow directions, and know your colors so well, and are just amazing, and Dina says you say good bye to her now without any reservations and sit down to start playing - I love this, and can't wait to take you on Friday and see it all for myself. I love you, baby girl!
Love always,
Mommy
I told you that you've been so much fun lately with us - but had no idea how much fun you've been with Dina too! She has recently been texting me tons of pictures during the day of the fun you have together - at classes, on playdates, walking around, at the playground - and she is as proud (if not prouder) as I am at how well you're doing at school. The teachers say you follow directions, and know your colors so well, and are just amazing, and Dina says you say good bye to her now without any reservations and sit down to start playing - I love this, and can't wait to take you on Friday and see it all for myself. I love you, baby girl!
Love always,
Mommy
September 18, 2013
Summer 2013
Dear Bex,
What. A. Blur. This summer blew by in an instant, marked in the beginning by the Walk and at the end by our family trip to Georgia and the Jewish Holidays, earlier this year than anyone can ever remember.
And in those months, Baby Girl, you GREW UP. You grew in size, vocabulary, attitude (!) and love. Your legs are longer, hair blonder and thoughts more mind-boggingly complex than at the beginning of the summer. You had so much fun in the sprinkler at the playground in Hoboken, over various weekend stays with Grandma and Grumpa and in Georgia with, as you put it, "everyone."
We have been having SUCH fun with you lately. You are at such a great age, my two-and-a-half-year-old (!), and showcase all of the classic stereotypes of the Terrible Twos, but in the most un-terrible way possible. Hilarity, intelligence, creativity, regressions, curiosity, defiance, tantrums... we cycle through these on a daily, if not hourly, basis.
You loved being outside, but REALLY hated the summer heat with a vengeance. I don't think you realized that it's the heat that made you so upset, because you didn't really let us do anything to relieve the heat for you like put your hair up, take sips of water or come in the shade, and instead opted to just get very flushed and sweaty and irritable. To combat the heat we often took you to the sprinkler, or to play in pools and water tables whenever possible. And when you see any of those, my goodness, you got so giddy that you jumped right in. Literally. You would run straight into the sprinkler's sprays of water, jump tush first (yes, tush first) into pools over and over, and grab whatever receptacle you can find at a water table and proceed to dump that water over your head over and over until you've had enough.
You love going to visit friends, families and the classes in which you are enrolled, asking every morning who you'll see or where you'll go that day. You are very generous with hugs and saying "I love you" to all of your favorite people.
You love to jump now - while crossing the street, while standing on the couch and while climbing down flights of stairs, you are most often in the air. You love to sing even more than you used to, and catching you singing along to the CDs we've listened to (OVER AND OVER AND OVER) in the car is one of my favorite things right now. You love anything on TV - Dora, Diego, Umizoomi, Jake and the Neverland Pirates and Sofia the First. You love Thomas, Clifford, Blue's Clues, Hello Kitty and Minnie Mouse - but you are very particular about what you want to watch at any given time, and with OnDemand, you often get what you want. What can I say, Mommy's a huge sucker...
You love the iPad more than anything else, and I've downloaded tons of apps and games for you that are at least somewhat educational!You do puzzles on there that blow my mind, play Monkey Preschool Lunchbox and get all the puzzles right, watch Dora (obviously) and love the virtual dollhouse too - not to mention the Thomas app.
Georgia was so much fun with you this year! You woke up early the first couple of mornings, and you and I went around exploring the resort. I can't explain how it feels to show you around someplace that means so much to me, having gone there each year since I was your age. It is pretty incredible. We would walk to see the birds in the bird room, who we named Tweeters and Chirpy and I think you thought were your pets. We would get mini muffins there and Mommy would have coffee. One morning you insisted on carrying around an empty cup just like mine. We would then walk out to the dock and see the boat, The Cloister Belle, and then make our way back to our room in time for breakfast with the whole crew. You spent mealtimes laughing with Amanda and Ryan, until you'd had enough and would demand we go to the pool. You LOVED swimming in the pool, both playing on the steps with Ryan and with the lion fountains, and loved when The Daddy or I would bring you into the deeper water and spin you around quickly. The last day on vacation we put you on a boogie board in the pool and you wouldn't get off for at least an hour. You were such a cute little surfer girl! You loved the beach the first day, overcoming your fear of sand quickly to run in and out of the ocean and all around. But after that, it didn't quite do it for you and you were content to just stay in the pool all week. You came out to dinners every night like a champ (thanks to that heavy iPad addiction) and then The Daddy would bring you home after... to do it all over again the next day.
You were a rockstar on the plane, too, and that helped make our vacation that much better. You've recently been asking to go on a plane again, so maybe we'll plan another trip soon...
Your sass has definitely increased lately - The Daddy and I think it may be some of the television shows that you watch, where kids are demanding or mean to teach a lesson, but either way, it's not fun to deal with! At bedtime, or naptime, or mealtime, we hear, "I'm not (tired or hungry) AT ALL!". You've recently started saying, "I don't love you," and even "You're not as good at this as me!" to other kids or us. Oh, and "No way, Jose" is your favorite response to just about anything. We're working through this, and I'm sure it's a phase as everything else, but it's one of my least favorite to date.
Another of my least favorite recent things was potty training. We made our first attempt in August, and took two weeks to try and get you into it - you were NOT. There were a couple of times we thought we made breakthroughs, when The Daddy finally got you to relax and you made your first big peepee in the potty, or when you made your first poop in the potty and told Dina that it looked like a hot dog... but alas, these were short-lived milestones. We had started to get to a pretty good place I think, but then went to Georgia and it all went down the tubes. Back into PullUps you went, and we'll try again soon...
You recently started preschool at Kidville, their Kidville University (KVU) program. The first day you were fine going in because I was with you, and I sat and watched you tentatively play with the toys and follow the teachers' directions. You sat in the chair at the table, and on the letter R (your favorite that you made it a point to find) on the rug, and when the teacher read a story and stood so that all the kids could see her, you made yourself quite comfortable in her chair at the head of the class!
All of the other mommies left quickly, and soon it was just one other nanny and I in the room with all of you and your teachers. She took the opportunity to sneak out, while I came over to you and said that I was going to go get coffee, and I'd be back soon. You wanted to come with me, and teared up, but I turned and left and know you were fine. When I came back to get you you were happy to see me and jumped into my arms, and then quickly out of them and into Dina's when you saw her! Wednesday you were much more hesitant going into the classroom. You knew what to expect, and had spent Monday afternoon and Tuesday telling me school wasn't fun. But, I left you quickly, and despite some tears, they said you had a good day. Friday was the same, with the difference being at pickup - it was the first time you ran to me to tell me you had SO MUCH FUN! I was so happy to hear that, and so proud of you, my big girl! This week has been great - they said you've been listening, and participating and you know your colors so well - hearing that feedback about your child is just incredible. I'm sure the day will come when teachers don't have 100% positive reports for me, so I'm going to bask in this for a little while longer... :)
Over the Jewish holidays, we went to Mimi and PopPop's for Rosh Hashana and then Grandma and Grumpa's for Yom Kippur. On Rosh Hashana we made sure you took a break from playing and heard the shofar. While at Grandma and Grumpa's synagogue, we took you upstairs to play in the toy room during services. When the Rabbi's children, who play there all the time, showed up, they stared at you - no one is usually up there with them! It wasn't long before they were completely under your spell. You immediately went up to them and said, "Hello Little Girl, what is your name? Would you like to play with me?" It was so sweet. You then proceeded to play by yourself, as they watched in wonder - at your constant chatter, singing, jumping, dancing and playing. They, and their babysitter, absolutely fell in love with you, as it is impossible to avoid. You are charismatic, funny, gorgeous, silly and amazing - I am so lucky to be your mommy, and see that every day.
I love you, Baby Girl.
Love always,
Mommy
What. A. Blur. This summer blew by in an instant, marked in the beginning by the Walk and at the end by our family trip to Georgia and the Jewish Holidays, earlier this year than anyone can ever remember.
And in those months, Baby Girl, you GREW UP. You grew in size, vocabulary, attitude (!) and love. Your legs are longer, hair blonder and thoughts more mind-boggingly complex than at the beginning of the summer. You had so much fun in the sprinkler at the playground in Hoboken, over various weekend stays with Grandma and Grumpa and in Georgia with, as you put it, "everyone."
We have been having SUCH fun with you lately. You are at such a great age, my two-and-a-half-year-old (!), and showcase all of the classic stereotypes of the Terrible Twos, but in the most un-terrible way possible. Hilarity, intelligence, creativity, regressions, curiosity, defiance, tantrums... we cycle through these on a daily, if not hourly, basis.
You loved being outside, but REALLY hated the summer heat with a vengeance. I don't think you realized that it's the heat that made you so upset, because you didn't really let us do anything to relieve the heat for you like put your hair up, take sips of water or come in the shade, and instead opted to just get very flushed and sweaty and irritable. To combat the heat we often took you to the sprinkler, or to play in pools and water tables whenever possible. And when you see any of those, my goodness, you got so giddy that you jumped right in. Literally. You would run straight into the sprinkler's sprays of water, jump tush first (yes, tush first) into pools over and over, and grab whatever receptacle you can find at a water table and proceed to dump that water over your head over and over until you've had enough.
You love going to visit friends, families and the classes in which you are enrolled, asking every morning who you'll see or where you'll go that day. You are very generous with hugs and saying "I love you" to all of your favorite people.
You love to jump now - while crossing the street, while standing on the couch and while climbing down flights of stairs, you are most often in the air. You love to sing even more than you used to, and catching you singing along to the CDs we've listened to (OVER AND OVER AND OVER) in the car is one of my favorite things right now. You love anything on TV - Dora, Diego, Umizoomi, Jake and the Neverland Pirates and Sofia the First. You love Thomas, Clifford, Blue's Clues, Hello Kitty and Minnie Mouse - but you are very particular about what you want to watch at any given time, and with OnDemand, you often get what you want. What can I say, Mommy's a huge sucker...
You love the iPad more than anything else, and I've downloaded tons of apps and games for you that are at least somewhat educational!You do puzzles on there that blow my mind, play Monkey Preschool Lunchbox and get all the puzzles right, watch Dora (obviously) and love the virtual dollhouse too - not to mention the Thomas app.
Georgia was so much fun with you this year! You woke up early the first couple of mornings, and you and I went around exploring the resort. I can't explain how it feels to show you around someplace that means so much to me, having gone there each year since I was your age. It is pretty incredible. We would walk to see the birds in the bird room, who we named Tweeters and Chirpy and I think you thought were your pets. We would get mini muffins there and Mommy would have coffee. One morning you insisted on carrying around an empty cup just like mine. We would then walk out to the dock and see the boat, The Cloister Belle, and then make our way back to our room in time for breakfast with the whole crew. You spent mealtimes laughing with Amanda and Ryan, until you'd had enough and would demand we go to the pool. You LOVED swimming in the pool, both playing on the steps with Ryan and with the lion fountains, and loved when The Daddy or I would bring you into the deeper water and spin you around quickly. The last day on vacation we put you on a boogie board in the pool and you wouldn't get off for at least an hour. You were such a cute little surfer girl! You loved the beach the first day, overcoming your fear of sand quickly to run in and out of the ocean and all around. But after that, it didn't quite do it for you and you were content to just stay in the pool all week. You came out to dinners every night like a champ (thanks to that heavy iPad addiction) and then The Daddy would bring you home after... to do it all over again the next day.
 |
| The coffee cup. |
 |
| A moment when we didn't hate the beach! |
 |
| The same swing I sat on when I was your age! |
 |
| Doing yoga with Chirpy |
Your sass has definitely increased lately - The Daddy and I think it may be some of the television shows that you watch, where kids are demanding or mean to teach a lesson, but either way, it's not fun to deal with! At bedtime, or naptime, or mealtime, we hear, "I'm not (tired or hungry) AT ALL!". You've recently started saying, "I don't love you," and even "You're not as good at this as me!" to other kids or us. Oh, and "No way, Jose" is your favorite response to just about anything. We're working through this, and I'm sure it's a phase as everything else, but it's one of my least favorite to date.
Another of my least favorite recent things was potty training. We made our first attempt in August, and took two weeks to try and get you into it - you were NOT. There were a couple of times we thought we made breakthroughs, when The Daddy finally got you to relax and you made your first big peepee in the potty, or when you made your first poop in the potty and told Dina that it looked like a hot dog... but alas, these were short-lived milestones. We had started to get to a pretty good place I think, but then went to Georgia and it all went down the tubes. Back into PullUps you went, and we'll try again soon...
You recently started preschool at Kidville, their Kidville University (KVU) program. The first day you were fine going in because I was with you, and I sat and watched you tentatively play with the toys and follow the teachers' directions. You sat in the chair at the table, and on the letter R (your favorite that you made it a point to find) on the rug, and when the teacher read a story and stood so that all the kids could see her, you made yourself quite comfortable in her chair at the head of the class!
 |
| First day of school! |
 |
| May you always be this excited to get there! Running with Mason... |
 |
| Head of the class! |
All of the other mommies left quickly, and soon it was just one other nanny and I in the room with all of you and your teachers. She took the opportunity to sneak out, while I came over to you and said that I was going to go get coffee, and I'd be back soon. You wanted to come with me, and teared up, but I turned and left and know you were fine. When I came back to get you you were happy to see me and jumped into my arms, and then quickly out of them and into Dina's when you saw her! Wednesday you were much more hesitant going into the classroom. You knew what to expect, and had spent Monday afternoon and Tuesday telling me school wasn't fun. But, I left you quickly, and despite some tears, they said you had a good day. Friday was the same, with the difference being at pickup - it was the first time you ran to me to tell me you had SO MUCH FUN! I was so happy to hear that, and so proud of you, my big girl! This week has been great - they said you've been listening, and participating and you know your colors so well - hearing that feedback about your child is just incredible. I'm sure the day will come when teachers don't have 100% positive reports for me, so I'm going to bask in this for a little while longer... :)
Over the Jewish holidays, we went to Mimi and PopPop's for Rosh Hashana and then Grandma and Grumpa's for Yom Kippur. On Rosh Hashana we made sure you took a break from playing and heard the shofar. While at Grandma and Grumpa's synagogue, we took you upstairs to play in the toy room during services. When the Rabbi's children, who play there all the time, showed up, they stared at you - no one is usually up there with them! It wasn't long before they were completely under your spell. You immediately went up to them and said, "Hello Little Girl, what is your name? Would you like to play with me?" It was so sweet. You then proceeded to play by yourself, as they watched in wonder - at your constant chatter, singing, jumping, dancing and playing. They, and their babysitter, absolutely fell in love with you, as it is impossible to avoid. You are charismatic, funny, gorgeous, silly and amazing - I am so lucky to be your mommy, and see that every day.
I love you, Baby Girl.
Love always,
Mommy
June 30, 2013
Our Climb from the Darkness
Dear Bex,
Last weekend, we did our Climb from the Darkness. At 6 PM on Friday, June 21, the longest day of the year, you, The Daddy and I met up with Mimi, PopPop, Drew and Gabi and walked along the Hoboken waterfront. You walked part of the way, ran part of the way, I pushed you in your stroller part of the way and you ate pretty much the whole way! We took tons of pictures, talked, looked at the amazing views of the NYC skyline and enjoyed the perfect summer evening weather. When we got back up to Maxwell Place Park we met up with Grandma and Grumpa and Aunt Judy for a picnic afterwards, during which you ate, ran, played on the playground, danced and were generally an overtired, hilarious entertainer!
It was an incredible night. We raised more than $3,500 for Postpartum Progress, the reason that we walked. I raised so much awareness even just among people I know about what I had been through. And I got to take time that night to think about how far I'd come. I got to spend time with the people who helped me when I needed it most, and to celebrate our family and the hundreds of other women that were walking for that same reason.
I didn't make any kind of speech that night, and if I had would have surely found myself with tears streaming down my face. But what I would have tried to say would have been:
I love you, baby girl.
Love always,
Mommy
Last weekend, we did our Climb from the Darkness. At 6 PM on Friday, June 21, the longest day of the year, you, The Daddy and I met up with Mimi, PopPop, Drew and Gabi and walked along the Hoboken waterfront. You walked part of the way, ran part of the way, I pushed you in your stroller part of the way and you ate pretty much the whole way! We took tons of pictures, talked, looked at the amazing views of the NYC skyline and enjoyed the perfect summer evening weather. When we got back up to Maxwell Place Park we met up with Grandma and Grumpa and Aunt Judy for a picnic afterwards, during which you ate, ran, played on the playground, danced and were generally an overtired, hilarious entertainer!
It was an incredible night. We raised more than $3,500 for Postpartum Progress, the reason that we walked. I raised so much awareness even just among people I know about what I had been through. And I got to take time that night to think about how far I'd come. I got to spend time with the people who helped me when I needed it most, and to celebrate our family and the hundreds of other women that were walking for that same reason.
I didn't make any kind of speech that night, and if I had would have surely found myself with tears streaming down my face. But what I would have tried to say would have been:
Thank you. Thank you for coming to support me, our family, and Postpartum Progress. Thank you for being there for us just over two years ago when we didn't know which way was up, and for being there to help us up every day since. This has been a hell of a two-and-a-half years, and we have needed each and every one of you to help keep us going.
The experience that I went through has profoundly changed me - motherhood, yes, has profoundly changed me - but the PPD in particular has made me hypersensitive to every pregnant woman that I see, every friend that tells me they are expecting. I live just about all of my life as an open book and always have, and this experience is no different. I hope that by talking about what I went through, I help at least one person not feel ashamed or embarrassed or like they have to hide their struggles. Today marks the first time that women all over are shining a light on PPD together, and I hope that this is the first of many times I get to use my experience for good.
So thank you all for everything - the meals, the baby sitting, the phone calls... thank you to Evan, for being the most amazing father, husband and partner from day 1. You have blown me away and I don't know where I'd be without you. And thank you to Bex, who made me the mother I am today. The Warrior Mother that I am today. It was you that profoundly changed me for the better, and you that keeps changing me every single day. I love you so much!I was proud, happy and overwhelmed with gratitude towards everyone that contributed money, time, and kind words to me. I loved every second of planning for and executing this night - and can not wait to make next year even bigger and better. What a night - and the symbolism of it - a virtual army of Warrior Moms all spending the brightest day of the year focusing on the journey that motherhood has taken them on - just made it that much more amazing.
I love you, baby girl.
Love always,
Mommy
June 6, 2013
Climbing Out of the Darkness
Dear Bex,
Oh my goodness, Baby Girl, mama's been on a mission! We have been kicking some booty over here raising money for Postpartum Progress' Climb Out of the Darkness fundraiser. When I first read about it, I thought, "Wow, what a great idea. That would be cool." Then I opened my next email and went on with my day. But I couldn't stop thinking about what I could do to participate - so I researched hikes in our area, but there are none close enough to where we live to make it easy for people to join us. So I put it out of my mind. But it just kept creeping back in, and I knew I had to join up! What a great way to raise money for this amazing cause, and to DO SOMETHING after what I went through during The Dark Days that I so often reference here. So, I set up a fundraising page and decided to do less of a climb and more of a walk right in Hoboken. Easy, right down and then back up the waterfront, a walk you and I have done together countless times. We will have a picnic dinner on the pier with everyone right after, and in my mind it's a perfect Summer evening with friends, family, babies and even dogs running all around us as we celebrate how far you and I have come in the exactly two years and five months since you were born.
Of course, something will go wrong - it may rain, or there won't be room for us all in the park (doubtful, but you never know), or FreshDirect's truck will break down and the picnic won't make it to us... but I can't control any of that, so I'm focused on what I can control - getting my message and Postpartum Progress' message out there, and asking friends and family to support their amazing cause.
I first sent out a note and a Facebook status update on Tuesday. Daddy put it on Facebook too, because he is an awesome Daddy. I said I'd raise $500, and we surpassed that pretty quickly. Then I said $1,000, and we passed that too. I upped it to $2,000 on Wednesday, and Baby Girl, we're at $2035 as of noon on Thursday. That is unbelievable. The goal of the entire fundraiser is $25,000, and we're almost 10% of that already! So that is my new goal - $2500 - fingers crossed that we get there.
So thank you thank you thank you to all of our donors (I will update this as more come in!):
Oh my goodness, Baby Girl, mama's been on a mission! We have been kicking some booty over here raising money for Postpartum Progress' Climb Out of the Darkness fundraiser. When I first read about it, I thought, "Wow, what a great idea. That would be cool." Then I opened my next email and went on with my day. But I couldn't stop thinking about what I could do to participate - so I researched hikes in our area, but there are none close enough to where we live to make it easy for people to join us. So I put it out of my mind. But it just kept creeping back in, and I knew I had to join up! What a great way to raise money for this amazing cause, and to DO SOMETHING after what I went through during The Dark Days that I so often reference here. So, I set up a fundraising page and decided to do less of a climb and more of a walk right in Hoboken. Easy, right down and then back up the waterfront, a walk you and I have done together countless times. We will have a picnic dinner on the pier with everyone right after, and in my mind it's a perfect Summer evening with friends, family, babies and even dogs running all around us as we celebrate how far you and I have come in the exactly two years and five months since you were born.
Of course, something will go wrong - it may rain, or there won't be room for us all in the park (doubtful, but you never know), or FreshDirect's truck will break down and the picnic won't make it to us... but I can't control any of that, so I'm focused on what I can control - getting my message and Postpartum Progress' message out there, and asking friends and family to support their amazing cause.
I first sent out a note and a Facebook status update on Tuesday. Daddy put it on Facebook too, because he is an awesome Daddy. I said I'd raise $500, and we surpassed that pretty quickly. Then I said $1,000, and we passed that too. I upped it to $2,000 on Wednesday, and Baby Girl, we're at $2035 as of noon on Thursday. That is unbelievable. The goal of the entire fundraiser is $25,000, and we're almost 10% of that already! So that is my new goal - $2500 - fingers crossed that we get there.
So thank you thank you thank you to all of our donors (I will update this as more come in!):
The Feuerring Foundation
Evan and Rebecca (The Stinkface) Neadel (that's you!)
Grandma and Grumpa Neadel
Lauren, Jason, Amanda and Ryan Baker
Grandma and Grumpa Neadel
Lauren, Jason, Amanda and Ryan Baker
Grandma Thel
Aunt Judy
Uncle Bob and Aunt June
Jen and Jason Adel
The Adler Family
Denae Bard
Lauren and Chad Blank
Jen and Jason Adel
The Adler Family
Denae Bard
Lauren and Chad Blank
Meredith Campbell
Rachel Cohen and Yael Ralston
Rachel Cohen and Yael Ralston
Bill & Marion Cullen
Gail and Jerry Ellstein
Valerie Fernandez
Gail and Jerry Ellstein
Valerie Fernandez
Mr. and Mrs. Ed Filusch
Joan and Barry Galkin
Joan and Barry Galkin
Laura and Dave Goldstein
Anne Green
Gabi and Drew Greenspan
Katy and Cuyler Hendricks
Tracy, Lilly and Jon Jacobs
Heather, Lil and Charlie Katz
Ellen and Ralph Katz
Lauren, Sean and Colin Kennedy
Dave, Ruth, Dylan and #2 Kim
Carrie and Adam Kipnis
Barry Kraver
Matt and Erica Lakind
Katy and Cuyler Hendricks
Tracy, Lilly and Jon Jacobs
Heather, Lil and Charlie Katz
Ellen and Ralph Katz
Lauren, Sean and Colin Kennedy
Dave, Ruth, Dylan and #2 Kim
Carrie and Adam Kipnis
Barry Kraver
Matt and Erica Lakind
Maria Martinez
Leslie, Marc, Sydney and Hayden Meunier
Leslie, Marc, Sydney and Hayden Meunier
Erica, Dave and Avery Peltz
Marc Penziner
Marc Penziner
Emily Pontelandolfo
Kathleen Reynolds
Charlie Ricciardelli
The Salinas Family
Rachael Lerner-Schachter and Jesse Schachter
Aly, Jordan and Lexie Schwartz
Bette and Alan Schwartz
Jeff Shooman
The Silberman Family
The Salinas Family
Rachael Lerner-Schachter and Jesse Schachter
Aly, Jordan and Lexie Schwartz
Bette and Alan Schwartz
Jeff Shooman
The Silberman Family
Dorothy Sonnenburg
Leslie Stahl
Leslie Stahl
Meredith Topalanchik
Abby and Elliot Trexler
Jordyn, Dan and Brooks Vinish
Jordyn, Dan and Brooks Vinish
Emily Weiner
Camille Priselac and Brendan Whelan
Camille Priselac and Brendan Whelan
Lea Woods
And thank you to you too, Bex, because without you being born, I wouldn't have gone through what I did - and wouldn't have found a cause I am so passionate about. One that I can feel so intensely down to my core, and one that I know will fuel who I am for the rest of my life.
Love always,
Mommy
April 30, 2013
2 1/4
Dear Bex,
Another lag, but this time no excuses, just... typing on! You, my lovey girl, have been sick on and off for months, almost since your birthday. After the ear infections there was a cold with a nasty cough or two, and now you have allergies that are just horrendous. A constant drippy nose, sneezes and a rattling cough that sadly wakes you up most nights. We've spent lots of time cuddling on your chair in the middle of the night (though you mostly just like to snuggle until you calm down, and then get back in your crib. You LOVE your crib - your haven - which is now filled to the brim with lovies, stuffed animals, a small blanket and three pillow-type toys. Even if you don't nap, you happily laze about in there for an hour or so, talking to all of your friends, making them dance and sing, kicking your legs around, letting yourself free fall onto your mattress and just generally having a blast!). Hopefully we're on the upswing, but only time will tell...
You're growing by leaps and bounds these days- both your long legs and your maturity! Though there are blasts of two-year-old immaturity that come blowing in like a tornado every now and then, you are very much a little kid now. You tell me stories about what you did each day with Dina, and you ask expectantly in the morning about what you'll do in the hours to come - who will we see? Where will we go? And you get so excited about plans for playdates, birthday parties and visits to see people all around us. You now understand that there are Dina Days (M-Th), Mommy Days (F) and Mommy/Daddy Days (Sat and Sun), and love each for different reasons.
You cheer us on when we do something well just as we do to you, and ask to see our empty plates, sparkly teeth and flushed potties and clap for us every time. You sing songs, do joga (yes, you say JOGA) and ballet and are starting a painting class next week - here's hoping you learn to stop eating the paint over the next two months).
You love all of your friends - your weekday friends around our neighborhood, your cousins, and the children of Mommy and Daddy's friend with whom we coordinate playdates all the time.
And you LOVE eating out at restaurants. You've become a pro, and order for yourself and then sit waiting patiently for your food, until you are really hungry and say, "I think it's coming!!" every time you see a waiter, waitress or busboy pass us by. You eat by yourself most of the time with a fork or a spoon, and when you are hungry, LOOK OUT! You hoover bowls full of pasta and french fries with reckless abandon! You're pickier in your day to day foods, and I think are somewhat bored with what we feed you but also wary of trying new things, leaving us in a bit of a bind. But luckily there are a few things we can rely on to ensure you're always full and (mostly healthily) nourished.
We are having so much fun with you right now, Bex. You are hilarious, constantly making up songs and voices for your different stuffed animals and lovies, and laughing at things around you. You are sweet, feisty, gentle, tough, dependent and independent all at the same time. You have learned that The Daddy and I are your family, and love doing things all together - jumping at the same time, eating meals at the same time, hugging as a Family Hug and last night, a big group kiss that you made us repeat over and over.
You are the best part of our days, even when you're not at your best.
I love you, baby girl!
Love,
Mommy
Another lag, but this time no excuses, just... typing on! You, my lovey girl, have been sick on and off for months, almost since your birthday. After the ear infections there was a cold with a nasty cough or two, and now you have allergies that are just horrendous. A constant drippy nose, sneezes and a rattling cough that sadly wakes you up most nights. We've spent lots of time cuddling on your chair in the middle of the night (though you mostly just like to snuggle until you calm down, and then get back in your crib. You LOVE your crib - your haven - which is now filled to the brim with lovies, stuffed animals, a small blanket and three pillow-type toys. Even if you don't nap, you happily laze about in there for an hour or so, talking to all of your friends, making them dance and sing, kicking your legs around, letting yourself free fall onto your mattress and just generally having a blast!). Hopefully we're on the upswing, but only time will tell...
You're growing by leaps and bounds these days- both your long legs and your maturity! Though there are blasts of two-year-old immaturity that come blowing in like a tornado every now and then, you are very much a little kid now. You tell me stories about what you did each day with Dina, and you ask expectantly in the morning about what you'll do in the hours to come - who will we see? Where will we go? And you get so excited about plans for playdates, birthday parties and visits to see people all around us. You now understand that there are Dina Days (M-Th), Mommy Days (F) and Mommy/Daddy Days (Sat and Sun), and love each for different reasons.
 |
| A typical Mommy Day - lunch at City Bistro... |
 |
| And a trip to the playroom and the ball pit! |
You cheer us on when we do something well just as we do to you, and ask to see our empty plates, sparkly teeth and flushed potties and clap for us every time. You sing songs, do joga (yes, you say JOGA) and ballet and are starting a painting class next week - here's hoping you learn to stop eating the paint over the next two months).
You love all of your friends - your weekday friends around our neighborhood, your cousins, and the children of Mommy and Daddy's friend with whom we coordinate playdates all the time.
And you LOVE eating out at restaurants. You've become a pro, and order for yourself and then sit waiting patiently for your food, until you are really hungry and say, "I think it's coming!!" every time you see a waiter, waitress or busboy pass us by. You eat by yourself most of the time with a fork or a spoon, and when you are hungry, LOOK OUT! You hoover bowls full of pasta and french fries with reckless abandon! You're pickier in your day to day foods, and I think are somewhat bored with what we feed you but also wary of trying new things, leaving us in a bit of a bind. But luckily there are a few things we can rely on to ensure you're always full and (mostly healthily) nourished.
 |
| At the Liberty Science Center's Curious George Exhibit |
You are the best part of our days, even when you're not at your best.
I love you, baby girl!
Love,
Mommy
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