About Dear Bex

This is my place to speak to my daughter. She won't remember these early days in her life, and I want to make sure that I do! Plus, there's just so much I want to say to her and be sure she knows.

October 3, 2011


Dear Bex,

Ever since before you were born, you have been a lavender girl. I've known all along that as much pink as there is in the world for girls (and yes, you wear and have your share of that too), that I loved purple and that it was just a little bit less of a GIRLY GIRL statement. Your bedding is lavender, I buy you lavender clothes when I can, and I am just in love with the color.

Now, I read about a new campaign, the Period of PURPLE Crying, that speaks so much to me that tears well up when I read about it. This is what we went through with you to a tee. And even on this blog, when I looked back at that time, I attributed what we went through to your reflux and thinking we mistakenly called that colic. People talked of the witching hour, which seemed creepy but valid enough since - literally - everyone said it affected them.

But no, you were in the Period of Purple Crying. It wasn't your fault, or our fault, or even anything abnormal - and that is something that took me a long time to understand. As a new mom you're worried constantly about what you're doing, and how to fix everything to be the perfect June Cleaver model within days - which turns into weeks - which turns into months. And when your baby cries incessantly every night, no matter what you do, it is hard for it not to take a toll on you, your ego and your state of mind.

The Period of PURPLE Crying begins at about 2 weeks of age and continues until about 3-4 months. There are other common characteristics of this phases, or period, which are better described by the acronym PURPLE. All babies go through this Period it is just that during this time some can cry a lot, some far less, but they all do go through it.

I found out about this from one of my favorite blogs, Pregnant Chicken, and just like her, want to help raise awareness of this to new mothers. As she writes here:
I'm never a fan of hiding the ugly to shelter unsuspecting parents of what *could* happen because if it *does* happen, you don't feel prepared and you feel like you are the only one this is happening to. I have yet to meet a parent that didn't have a witching hour in their house so you are not alone.

So today I want to tell new moms, moms-to-be, and those thinking of having babies, listen up - this may happen to you. It will suck, but you will just power through it and survive, and still end up in absolute love with the baby that made all that racket. You will look at them months down the road, and say, as we have, "How is this sweet, perfect little girl the same one who raised such hell in the beginning of her life?"

The answer is, Bex, that yes, it's the same little girl. You entered our lives dramatically, and have since become the antithesis, not getting worked up about too much. And I couldn't love you anymore than I do today, when you smile at me, and clap your hands, and shriek when you see how big Elmo is on the last page of the book. And later, I won't be able to love you anymore than I will when you are a dramatic two-year-old, wanting your way and throwing tantrums. You are perfect, just as you are. You are YOU.

I love you, baby girl!

Love always,

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