About Dear Bex

This is my place to speak to my daughter. She won't remember these early days in her life, and I want to make sure that I do! Plus, there's just so much I want to say to her and be sure she knows.

October 24, 2011

The First Time Apart

Dear Bex,
I hinted in the last post that it’s been a hectic time – and it has. Work has been so busy for me lately because I had a big event coming up that is FINALLY OVER! I am on the plane back right now.

I’ve been in Phoenix since Wednesday – and that night was the first I’ve ever spent away from you, baby girl! I was extremely nervous about leaving and got pretty upset the night or two before – but obviously knew you were in amazing hands with Dina (who was amazing and came early and stayed late and came Friday!) and the Daddy (who did SUCH a great job with NO help from anyone!). I had pictures of you with me that I stared at – ask anyone I was with – and that I was gladly able to show off to tons of people.

I missed you SO much - your smile, laugh, noises, hands, eyes and tush tush! I would talk to the Daddy and hear you in the background, and he'd put me on speaker to talk to you but you are still too young to understand what was going on. Dina says you would look around for me and missed me, which makes my heart break because you were probably so confused! I bought you a little coyote doll that said Arizona on the tummy - the first of many souvenirs we'll bring you from trips, I'm sure, and another "Mom moment" that struck me more than I thought it would.

The breaking point was when I finally figured out how to Skype with The Daddy. It was a little bit screwed up, so I don't think you could see me that well, but the second I saw you on The Daddy's lap I realized just how much I missed you. I cried when we signed off, knowing it was a full two more days before I'd see you, and I just wanted to get on a plane right then and come back!

But we made it through - I am finishing this post from home, and last night when I got here I went right into your room and watched you sleep for a few minutes, breathing gently, your head perched on top of all of the lovies you sleep with, and I just smiled. This is where I belong.

I love you, baby girl!


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