Dear Bex,
My loveygirl, you are turning three tomorrow. I just put you to bed for the last time as a two-year-old and tried to explain what birthdays were - the day each year that your mommy had you, that you were born. I don't think you understood, though you may have since you really understand, remember and ponder just about everything these days. The Whys have started, and I never really know enough to satisfy them, though I try my best. The memories that you pull out of thin air boggle my mind, and I often have to think hard but can decipher even the most random references you make. We met someone named Jessie, and you remembered that Erica Lakind's teddy bear has the same name, something you learned months earlier when we visited their new apartment for half an hour. Seriously.
We have really become best friends recently, and that brings along the good with the bad. Your best friend is the person that makes you laugh the hardest and most often, and who brings out the best in you, but can also push your buttons like no other since they know you so well. Yep, that's us! We have the most fun together, you and I and The Daddy, and we laugh, sing, dance and play most of the time these days. Candy Land, Zoominoes, puzzles, books, TV shows, songs and movies fill our days. You remember lines, sayings, quotes and songs and repeat them constantly, and you assign all of the people in your life roles from each of these - sometimes the three of us are Nemo, Dory and Marlin, sometimes we are members of the Paw Patrol or characters from Aladdin or a random show you fell in love with called Tree Fu Tom. We willingly act these out and call you by your chosen name, since if we don't you say, "I'm not Rebecca, I'm _______." (Nemo, Ryder, Abu, Tom...). Then, on a dime and for no reason at all, you become frustrated, angry or sad and have a bit of a meltdown. Sometimes you yell at us or purposely do something that you know you're not supposed to, and while we are working through this with you it in turn makes us frustrated, angry or sad! We try not to have our own meltdowns and to stay calm, but admittedly don't always succeed - welcome to the 3s is what we've been told by friends who have been down this road before!
You have also developed a quirk where you want to be like whoever we are near, even if we aren't necessarily playing with them. This means if Amanda has her hat and gloves on, you better have a hat and gloves too! And if we are in the playroom and someone has a dress on, we may have to come back upstairs to put on a dress too and avoid the aforementioned tantrums (something Mommy is much more apt to do than The Daddy, for sure)! It really gets quite intricate, I must admit, but I'm usually willing to play along.
All in all though, you are still the most awesome kid around. A month ago we went on vacation together to Puerto Rico with Lulu, Amanda and Ryan. The daddies stayed home to work and it was a long six days without them. I was so nervous to be without The Daddy - he is such an integral part of us, and helps me SO much with you that I wasn't sure how we'd do without him, especially in a strange place with a strange crib and strange food and two (2!) four-hour plane flights. But there was no reason to be scared - as you have always done in the past, you proved to me over and over that you are a cool, fun, roll-with-the-punches girl. You were amazing on the plane, both times, including during the delay in the airport on the way home. You slept like a champ for five nights in a pretty small pack and play. You had a great time swimming in the pool and playing with your cousins, and were so sad when it was time to come home, until you realized that meant seeing The Daddy. It was all you talked about the whole last two days I think! Admittedly it was all I thought about too.
We had your birthday party yesterday, and you had so much fun - we did it at Kidville since you are so comfortable there and it was great. Tattoos, play-doh, art projects and blocks to start off, some time running and playing in the gym and then chicken fingers, pizza, fruit and cake to finish up. We didn't sing Happy Birthday at your request, and even still you cried after from what I think is a bit of anxiety towards either the attention, noise or combination of the two. You quickly got better once you got to lick the frosting off of your candles! You got so many fun little presents and it was really the perfect way to celebrate with 20 of your friends and all four grandparents.
I can not believe that three years ago today, The Daddy and I drove through the Lincoln Tunnel to check into the hospital, a trip of which I still remember every second. I was so nervous to meet you, to find out who had been kicking me and hiccuping in there for the past nine months, and to see who you would become. I could not have imagined someone that brings so much to my life. Someone who makes me laugh out loud constantly with the hilarious, amazing, grown up and wise beyond her years words she says, tear up with pride by doing the most mundane task, and full-on ugly cry when I think of the years that have some how already passed and how quickly you are growing up. I can not wait to see what else you've got in store for us, Babylove... my newest and bestest friend.
XOXOXOXOXOOXOXO to my still-two-year-old-daughter for at least tonight!
Love always,
Mommy
January 20, 2014
October 4, 2013
"Reading"
Dear Bex,
You have always had a penchant for books and reading, and recognized books by their covers... you've always memorized them quite quickly, and I frequently won't read the last word on a page and wait for you to fill it in (which you usually do perfectly). You've recently taken this to another level, reading books to yourself and having a blast doing it. Sometimes the pages are paraphrased based on the pictures, but mostly, you get them 100% right...
And crack me up in the process :)
I love you, baby girl.
Love always,
Mommy
You have always had a penchant for books and reading, and recognized books by their covers... you've always memorized them quite quickly, and I frequently won't read the last word on a page and wait for you to fill it in (which you usually do perfectly). You've recently taken this to another level, reading books to yourself and having a blast doing it. Sometimes the pages are paraphrased based on the pictures, but mostly, you get them 100% right...
And crack me up in the process :)
I love you, baby girl.
Love always,
Mommy
September 25, 2013
Fun with Bex
Dear Bex,
I told you that you've been so much fun lately with us - but had no idea how much fun you've been with Dina too! She has recently been texting me tons of pictures during the day of the fun you have together - at classes, on playdates, walking around, at the playground - and she is as proud (if not prouder) as I am at how well you're doing at school. The teachers say you follow directions, and know your colors so well, and are just amazing, and Dina says you say good bye to her now without any reservations and sit down to start playing - I love this, and can't wait to take you on Friday and see it all for myself. I love you, baby girl!
Love always,
Mommy
I told you that you've been so much fun lately with us - but had no idea how much fun you've been with Dina too! She has recently been texting me tons of pictures during the day of the fun you have together - at classes, on playdates, walking around, at the playground - and she is as proud (if not prouder) as I am at how well you're doing at school. The teachers say you follow directions, and know your colors so well, and are just amazing, and Dina says you say good bye to her now without any reservations and sit down to start playing - I love this, and can't wait to take you on Friday and see it all for myself. I love you, baby girl!
Love always,
Mommy
September 18, 2013
Summer 2013
Dear Bex,
What. A. Blur. This summer blew by in an instant, marked in the beginning by the Walk and at the end by our family trip to Georgia and the Jewish Holidays, earlier this year than anyone can ever remember.
And in those months, Baby Girl, you GREW UP. You grew in size, vocabulary, attitude (!) and love. Your legs are longer, hair blonder and thoughts more mind-boggingly complex than at the beginning of the summer. You had so much fun in the sprinkler at the playground in Hoboken, over various weekend stays with Grandma and Grumpa and in Georgia with, as you put it, "everyone."
We have been having SUCH fun with you lately. You are at such a great age, my two-and-a-half-year-old (!), and showcase all of the classic stereotypes of the Terrible Twos, but in the most un-terrible way possible. Hilarity, intelligence, creativity, regressions, curiosity, defiance, tantrums... we cycle through these on a daily, if not hourly, basis.
You loved being outside, but REALLY hated the summer heat with a vengeance. I don't think you realized that it's the heat that made you so upset, because you didn't really let us do anything to relieve the heat for you like put your hair up, take sips of water or come in the shade, and instead opted to just get very flushed and sweaty and irritable. To combat the heat we often took you to the sprinkler, or to play in pools and water tables whenever possible. And when you see any of those, my goodness, you got so giddy that you jumped right in. Literally. You would run straight into the sprinkler's sprays of water, jump tush first (yes, tush first) into pools over and over, and grab whatever receptacle you can find at a water table and proceed to dump that water over your head over and over until you've had enough.
You love going to visit friends, families and the classes in which you are enrolled, asking every morning who you'll see or where you'll go that day. You are very generous with hugs and saying "I love you" to all of your favorite people.
You love to jump now - while crossing the street, while standing on the couch and while climbing down flights of stairs, you are most often in the air. You love to sing even more than you used to, and catching you singing along to the CDs we've listened to (OVER AND OVER AND OVER) in the car is one of my favorite things right now. You love anything on TV - Dora, Diego, Umizoomi, Jake and the Neverland Pirates and Sofia the First. You love Thomas, Clifford, Blue's Clues, Hello Kitty and Minnie Mouse - but you are very particular about what you want to watch at any given time, and with OnDemand, you often get what you want. What can I say, Mommy's a huge sucker...
You love the iPad more than anything else, and I've downloaded tons of apps and games for you that are at least somewhat educational!You do puzzles on there that blow my mind, play Monkey Preschool Lunchbox and get all the puzzles right, watch Dora (obviously) and love the virtual dollhouse too - not to mention the Thomas app.
Georgia was so much fun with you this year! You woke up early the first couple of mornings, and you and I went around exploring the resort. I can't explain how it feels to show you around someplace that means so much to me, having gone there each year since I was your age. It is pretty incredible. We would walk to see the birds in the bird room, who we named Tweeters and Chirpy and I think you thought were your pets. We would get mini muffins there and Mommy would have coffee. One morning you insisted on carrying around an empty cup just like mine. We would then walk out to the dock and see the boat, The Cloister Belle, and then make our way back to our room in time for breakfast with the whole crew. You spent mealtimes laughing with Amanda and Ryan, until you'd had enough and would demand we go to the pool. You LOVED swimming in the pool, both playing on the steps with Ryan and with the lion fountains, and loved when The Daddy or I would bring you into the deeper water and spin you around quickly. The last day on vacation we put you on a boogie board in the pool and you wouldn't get off for at least an hour. You were such a cute little surfer girl! You loved the beach the first day, overcoming your fear of sand quickly to run in and out of the ocean and all around. But after that, it didn't quite do it for you and you were content to just stay in the pool all week. You came out to dinners every night like a champ (thanks to that heavy iPad addiction) and then The Daddy would bring you home after... to do it all over again the next day.
You were a rockstar on the plane, too, and that helped make our vacation that much better. You've recently been asking to go on a plane again, so maybe we'll plan another trip soon...
Your sass has definitely increased lately - The Daddy and I think it may be some of the television shows that you watch, where kids are demanding or mean to teach a lesson, but either way, it's not fun to deal with! At bedtime, or naptime, or mealtime, we hear, "I'm not (tired or hungry) AT ALL!". You've recently started saying, "I don't love you," and even "You're not as good at this as me!" to other kids or us. Oh, and "No way, Jose" is your favorite response to just about anything. We're working through this, and I'm sure it's a phase as everything else, but it's one of my least favorite to date.
Another of my least favorite recent things was potty training. We made our first attempt in August, and took two weeks to try and get you into it - you were NOT. There were a couple of times we thought we made breakthroughs, when The Daddy finally got you to relax and you made your first big peepee in the potty, or when you made your first poop in the potty and told Dina that it looked like a hot dog... but alas, these were short-lived milestones. We had started to get to a pretty good place I think, but then went to Georgia and it all went down the tubes. Back into PullUps you went, and we'll try again soon...
You recently started preschool at Kidville, their Kidville University (KVU) program. The first day you were fine going in because I was with you, and I sat and watched you tentatively play with the toys and follow the teachers' directions. You sat in the chair at the table, and on the letter R (your favorite that you made it a point to find) on the rug, and when the teacher read a story and stood so that all the kids could see her, you made yourself quite comfortable in her chair at the head of the class!
All of the other mommies left quickly, and soon it was just one other nanny and I in the room with all of you and your teachers. She took the opportunity to sneak out, while I came over to you and said that I was going to go get coffee, and I'd be back soon. You wanted to come with me, and teared up, but I turned and left and know you were fine. When I came back to get you you were happy to see me and jumped into my arms, and then quickly out of them and into Dina's when you saw her! Wednesday you were much more hesitant going into the classroom. You knew what to expect, and had spent Monday afternoon and Tuesday telling me school wasn't fun. But, I left you quickly, and despite some tears, they said you had a good day. Friday was the same, with the difference being at pickup - it was the first time you ran to me to tell me you had SO MUCH FUN! I was so happy to hear that, and so proud of you, my big girl! This week has been great - they said you've been listening, and participating and you know your colors so well - hearing that feedback about your child is just incredible. I'm sure the day will come when teachers don't have 100% positive reports for me, so I'm going to bask in this for a little while longer... :)
Over the Jewish holidays, we went to Mimi and PopPop's for Rosh Hashana and then Grandma and Grumpa's for Yom Kippur. On Rosh Hashana we made sure you took a break from playing and heard the shofar. While at Grandma and Grumpa's synagogue, we took you upstairs to play in the toy room during services. When the Rabbi's children, who play there all the time, showed up, they stared at you - no one is usually up there with them! It wasn't long before they were completely under your spell. You immediately went up to them and said, "Hello Little Girl, what is your name? Would you like to play with me?" It was so sweet. You then proceeded to play by yourself, as they watched in wonder - at your constant chatter, singing, jumping, dancing and playing. They, and their babysitter, absolutely fell in love with you, as it is impossible to avoid. You are charismatic, funny, gorgeous, silly and amazing - I am so lucky to be your mommy, and see that every day.
I love you, Baby Girl.
Love always,
Mommy
What. A. Blur. This summer blew by in an instant, marked in the beginning by the Walk and at the end by our family trip to Georgia and the Jewish Holidays, earlier this year than anyone can ever remember.
And in those months, Baby Girl, you GREW UP. You grew in size, vocabulary, attitude (!) and love. Your legs are longer, hair blonder and thoughts more mind-boggingly complex than at the beginning of the summer. You had so much fun in the sprinkler at the playground in Hoboken, over various weekend stays with Grandma and Grumpa and in Georgia with, as you put it, "everyone."
We have been having SUCH fun with you lately. You are at such a great age, my two-and-a-half-year-old (!), and showcase all of the classic stereotypes of the Terrible Twos, but in the most un-terrible way possible. Hilarity, intelligence, creativity, regressions, curiosity, defiance, tantrums... we cycle through these on a daily, if not hourly, basis.
You loved being outside, but REALLY hated the summer heat with a vengeance. I don't think you realized that it's the heat that made you so upset, because you didn't really let us do anything to relieve the heat for you like put your hair up, take sips of water or come in the shade, and instead opted to just get very flushed and sweaty and irritable. To combat the heat we often took you to the sprinkler, or to play in pools and water tables whenever possible. And when you see any of those, my goodness, you got so giddy that you jumped right in. Literally. You would run straight into the sprinkler's sprays of water, jump tush first (yes, tush first) into pools over and over, and grab whatever receptacle you can find at a water table and proceed to dump that water over your head over and over until you've had enough.
You love going to visit friends, families and the classes in which you are enrolled, asking every morning who you'll see or where you'll go that day. You are very generous with hugs and saying "I love you" to all of your favorite people.
You love to jump now - while crossing the street, while standing on the couch and while climbing down flights of stairs, you are most often in the air. You love to sing even more than you used to, and catching you singing along to the CDs we've listened to (OVER AND OVER AND OVER) in the car is one of my favorite things right now. You love anything on TV - Dora, Diego, Umizoomi, Jake and the Neverland Pirates and Sofia the First. You love Thomas, Clifford, Blue's Clues, Hello Kitty and Minnie Mouse - but you are very particular about what you want to watch at any given time, and with OnDemand, you often get what you want. What can I say, Mommy's a huge sucker...
You love the iPad more than anything else, and I've downloaded tons of apps and games for you that are at least somewhat educational!You do puzzles on there that blow my mind, play Monkey Preschool Lunchbox and get all the puzzles right, watch Dora (obviously) and love the virtual dollhouse too - not to mention the Thomas app.
Georgia was so much fun with you this year! You woke up early the first couple of mornings, and you and I went around exploring the resort. I can't explain how it feels to show you around someplace that means so much to me, having gone there each year since I was your age. It is pretty incredible. We would walk to see the birds in the bird room, who we named Tweeters and Chirpy and I think you thought were your pets. We would get mini muffins there and Mommy would have coffee. One morning you insisted on carrying around an empty cup just like mine. We would then walk out to the dock and see the boat, The Cloister Belle, and then make our way back to our room in time for breakfast with the whole crew. You spent mealtimes laughing with Amanda and Ryan, until you'd had enough and would demand we go to the pool. You LOVED swimming in the pool, both playing on the steps with Ryan and with the lion fountains, and loved when The Daddy or I would bring you into the deeper water and spin you around quickly. The last day on vacation we put you on a boogie board in the pool and you wouldn't get off for at least an hour. You were such a cute little surfer girl! You loved the beach the first day, overcoming your fear of sand quickly to run in and out of the ocean and all around. But after that, it didn't quite do it for you and you were content to just stay in the pool all week. You came out to dinners every night like a champ (thanks to that heavy iPad addiction) and then The Daddy would bring you home after... to do it all over again the next day.
 |
| The coffee cup. |
 |
| A moment when we didn't hate the beach! |
 |
| The same swing I sat on when I was your age! |
 |
| Doing yoga with Chirpy |
Your sass has definitely increased lately - The Daddy and I think it may be some of the television shows that you watch, where kids are demanding or mean to teach a lesson, but either way, it's not fun to deal with! At bedtime, or naptime, or mealtime, we hear, "I'm not (tired or hungry) AT ALL!". You've recently started saying, "I don't love you," and even "You're not as good at this as me!" to other kids or us. Oh, and "No way, Jose" is your favorite response to just about anything. We're working through this, and I'm sure it's a phase as everything else, but it's one of my least favorite to date.
Another of my least favorite recent things was potty training. We made our first attempt in August, and took two weeks to try and get you into it - you were NOT. There were a couple of times we thought we made breakthroughs, when The Daddy finally got you to relax and you made your first big peepee in the potty, or when you made your first poop in the potty and told Dina that it looked like a hot dog... but alas, these were short-lived milestones. We had started to get to a pretty good place I think, but then went to Georgia and it all went down the tubes. Back into PullUps you went, and we'll try again soon...
You recently started preschool at Kidville, their Kidville University (KVU) program. The first day you were fine going in because I was with you, and I sat and watched you tentatively play with the toys and follow the teachers' directions. You sat in the chair at the table, and on the letter R (your favorite that you made it a point to find) on the rug, and when the teacher read a story and stood so that all the kids could see her, you made yourself quite comfortable in her chair at the head of the class!
 |
| First day of school! |
 |
| May you always be this excited to get there! Running with Mason... |
 |
| Head of the class! |
All of the other mommies left quickly, and soon it was just one other nanny and I in the room with all of you and your teachers. She took the opportunity to sneak out, while I came over to you and said that I was going to go get coffee, and I'd be back soon. You wanted to come with me, and teared up, but I turned and left and know you were fine. When I came back to get you you were happy to see me and jumped into my arms, and then quickly out of them and into Dina's when you saw her! Wednesday you were much more hesitant going into the classroom. You knew what to expect, and had spent Monday afternoon and Tuesday telling me school wasn't fun. But, I left you quickly, and despite some tears, they said you had a good day. Friday was the same, with the difference being at pickup - it was the first time you ran to me to tell me you had SO MUCH FUN! I was so happy to hear that, and so proud of you, my big girl! This week has been great - they said you've been listening, and participating and you know your colors so well - hearing that feedback about your child is just incredible. I'm sure the day will come when teachers don't have 100% positive reports for me, so I'm going to bask in this for a little while longer... :)
Over the Jewish holidays, we went to Mimi and PopPop's for Rosh Hashana and then Grandma and Grumpa's for Yom Kippur. On Rosh Hashana we made sure you took a break from playing and heard the shofar. While at Grandma and Grumpa's synagogue, we took you upstairs to play in the toy room during services. When the Rabbi's children, who play there all the time, showed up, they stared at you - no one is usually up there with them! It wasn't long before they were completely under your spell. You immediately went up to them and said, "Hello Little Girl, what is your name? Would you like to play with me?" It was so sweet. You then proceeded to play by yourself, as they watched in wonder - at your constant chatter, singing, jumping, dancing and playing. They, and their babysitter, absolutely fell in love with you, as it is impossible to avoid. You are charismatic, funny, gorgeous, silly and amazing - I am so lucky to be your mommy, and see that every day.
I love you, Baby Girl.
Love always,
Mommy
June 30, 2013
Our Climb from the Darkness
Dear Bex,
Last weekend, we did our Climb from the Darkness. At 6 PM on Friday, June 21, the longest day of the year, you, The Daddy and I met up with Mimi, PopPop, Drew and Gabi and walked along the Hoboken waterfront. You walked part of the way, ran part of the way, I pushed you in your stroller part of the way and you ate pretty much the whole way! We took tons of pictures, talked, looked at the amazing views of the NYC skyline and enjoyed the perfect summer evening weather. When we got back up to Maxwell Place Park we met up with Grandma and Grumpa and Aunt Judy for a picnic afterwards, during which you ate, ran, played on the playground, danced and were generally an overtired, hilarious entertainer!
It was an incredible night. We raised more than $3,500 for Postpartum Progress, the reason that we walked. I raised so much awareness even just among people I know about what I had been through. And I got to take time that night to think about how far I'd come. I got to spend time with the people who helped me when I needed it most, and to celebrate our family and the hundreds of other women that were walking for that same reason.
I didn't make any kind of speech that night, and if I had would have surely found myself with tears streaming down my face. But what I would have tried to say would have been:
I love you, baby girl.
Love always,
Mommy
Last weekend, we did our Climb from the Darkness. At 6 PM on Friday, June 21, the longest day of the year, you, The Daddy and I met up with Mimi, PopPop, Drew and Gabi and walked along the Hoboken waterfront. You walked part of the way, ran part of the way, I pushed you in your stroller part of the way and you ate pretty much the whole way! We took tons of pictures, talked, looked at the amazing views of the NYC skyline and enjoyed the perfect summer evening weather. When we got back up to Maxwell Place Park we met up with Grandma and Grumpa and Aunt Judy for a picnic afterwards, during which you ate, ran, played on the playground, danced and were generally an overtired, hilarious entertainer!
It was an incredible night. We raised more than $3,500 for Postpartum Progress, the reason that we walked. I raised so much awareness even just among people I know about what I had been through. And I got to take time that night to think about how far I'd come. I got to spend time with the people who helped me when I needed it most, and to celebrate our family and the hundreds of other women that were walking for that same reason.
I didn't make any kind of speech that night, and if I had would have surely found myself with tears streaming down my face. But what I would have tried to say would have been:
Thank you. Thank you for coming to support me, our family, and Postpartum Progress. Thank you for being there for us just over two years ago when we didn't know which way was up, and for being there to help us up every day since. This has been a hell of a two-and-a-half years, and we have needed each and every one of you to help keep us going.
The experience that I went through has profoundly changed me - motherhood, yes, has profoundly changed me - but the PPD in particular has made me hypersensitive to every pregnant woman that I see, every friend that tells me they are expecting. I live just about all of my life as an open book and always have, and this experience is no different. I hope that by talking about what I went through, I help at least one person not feel ashamed or embarrassed or like they have to hide their struggles. Today marks the first time that women all over are shining a light on PPD together, and I hope that this is the first of many times I get to use my experience for good.
So thank you all for everything - the meals, the baby sitting, the phone calls... thank you to Evan, for being the most amazing father, husband and partner from day 1. You have blown me away and I don't know where I'd be without you. And thank you to Bex, who made me the mother I am today. The Warrior Mother that I am today. It was you that profoundly changed me for the better, and you that keeps changing me every single day. I love you so much!I was proud, happy and overwhelmed with gratitude towards everyone that contributed money, time, and kind words to me. I loved every second of planning for and executing this night - and can not wait to make next year even bigger and better. What a night - and the symbolism of it - a virtual army of Warrior Moms all spending the brightest day of the year focusing on the journey that motherhood has taken them on - just made it that much more amazing.
I love you, baby girl.
Love always,
Mommy
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